I Hope My Kids Marry Someone Just Like Their Dad

Easy smiles

I can’t express into words just how sure I was that good men no longer walked God’s country. I was convinced I either would have to settle or be alone; because finding someone who treated me the way I deserved was so far fetched. It just wasn’t happening for me. I had my fair share of relationships, mostly crappy relationships at that. I’ll admit, I wasn’t probably the easiest person to get along with, my patience was very thin, jealousy consumed me; that’s no easy thing to admit. I was just hopeful somebody would love me through it all. Then one day, someone did. I hope that the girls find someone just like him, because this is how they will be loved and this is what he’ll be like.

I’m so not a fan of his patchy beard he has going on, if anyone has beard growing ideas, let me know! Haha.

He will have a kind heart and a gentle hand. He will have love in his voice, even when he is angry. I know she will feel safe and at home, no matter where they are at so long as they are together. He will have patience.
He will be patient even when she is on his every last nerve. Patience she strives to have. Patience with their children, patience when she’s had a long day and moody. He will be a loving father and a faithful husband. Someone who is never quick to assume and will never let them go to bed angry at each other. He will love her fully, and give 100% even if he is running on fumes.

He will bring out the best parts of her and make her use them to her full potential. He will be a provider and never use that as leverage against her. He will buy surprise flowers and gifts just to see her smile. He will speak words of tenderness when getting his point across and never raise his voice without crying immediately after. He will be forgiving, even on days she’s in the wrong. He will make it a priority to not fight in front of the kids and always take the argument to another room, far from little ears that will hear.

He will be honest, always and pray for her everyday. Pray to God to keep her safe. He will be considerate. Considerate of her feelings, and think of her before all he does. He will be selfless and always put her and her needs before his own. He will be her safe place to fall, always being there to catch her anytime she slips. He will whisper I love you’s and tell her how proud of her he is. He will push her to do things she once thought was a dream. He will push her to succeed and be the bigger person. He will make a thousand trips to the car so she doesn’t have to make one, purely out of love. It won’t be because she doesn’t want too, it’ll be because he would rather do it for her. He will pick up her slack when she can’t move another muscle and cook meals for her when she’s sick. On the days she’s hard to like, he will love her harder. He will be the light on her darkest days. He will be a good man.

My children deserve the best and I pray through learning and watching the way Austin loves me they see they should never settle, they should never settle for mediocre love. I’m hopeful they see how a women deserves to be treated and they will know their worth. That good men are out there, sometimes their just hard to catch. But when you do, I know they’ll see the chase was worth it.

nonfiction

This Is For The Children Who Grew Up With Parents That Fought

I see you. I feel your pain. Because I too am a child of the parents who fought all the time. Who can relate better than a person who endured the same?

I see you as a little child, hidden in your closet, from the screaming monsters, listening to glass shatter all over the kitchen floor. I see you crying out for help but nobody listening. Oh dear, I know what that was like. I remember as well, holding tiny little hands over our little ears and every so often checking to see if you could hear screams. I see you, darling. I see you scared and alone, with nobody to hold your hand. The people who should be holding your hand are far to busy pointing their fingers. But, it’s okay. I saw you child, you are not alone. I see your suitcase ready to go, as if you know where to leave to at just six years old. But in that moment, anywhere is better than the screaming house. I see you still battling those emotions that you had to keep for all these years.

I see you, as a teenager. Watching your first fight with two classmates. Cringing, heart beating fast, and slowly turning away. Painful memories burned into your mind, you can’t bear to watch another second. I see you looking for love in all the wrong places. Please, don’t. I see your choosing of men, after a few months we start to sound a whole lot like those monsters in the bedroom. But it’s okay, darling. I know you don’t want to be like them. I see every single pain inflicted memory haunt you wherever you go, carrying it around like a bug hitching a ride. But, how do you get rid of a bug that’s only hidden from you? After all, we just listened to screaming all our life, it’s not THAT bad. At least, that’s what I always got told. I see you battling those emotions that just want to make you scream, but I know that you don’t want to be one to raise your voice. I know because I didn’t want too either. I didn’t want to sound like those scary monsters we used to hide from.

I see you, as an adult. Striving so hard to be everything they weren’t. Finally finding that bug on you and realizing emotional abuse is just as hurtful as physical abuse. That there wasn’t anything wrong with you, besides battling something that everyone always said wasn’t that bad. I know it was really difficult to fix the part of me that everyone said didn’t need fixing. But I know, I know that part of you needs the most healing. I see you. I feel your pain. I wish I could say that it gets easier. But, for me it didn’t. It’s always with me wherever I go. If there’s one piece of advice I can give you, don’t let the monsters that you fight within you win. Because everyone runs from monsters.

 “Previously published by Thought Catalog at https://thoughtcatalog.com.”

Nonfiction